PSA: Are You a Criminal?

The Treasury Department gets to decide. Isn't that a comforting thought?

Last week I had an experience that, well . . .

You see, last Wednesday afternoon, while paying bills, I opened a letter from the attorney that acts as a registered agent in North Dakota for the family farm.

And here is how the letter began . . .

I read it once and then twice. I have to file a what? And for whom? I asked myself. This can’t be real. They can’t seriously be wanting every LLC, LLP, and S corp to register with the government.

But not just with the government, but the “Financial Crimes Enforcement Network.”

It’s like being made to register as a sex offender because you are a single male and you might one day offend.

I decided I had to be wrong. This was just too insane. Google would set me straight.

“Who has to file a boi report.”

And this is what I found thanks to H&R Block . . .

So if you file an annual report with your secretary of state, you are a “reporting company.” And all “reporting companies” have to file.

WTF? That’s like . . . everyone. Okay, well, not everyone, but you get the point. It’s a lot of people I know . . . and me.

A little LLC that owns a shop that the husband’s business can barely pay rent on must file a BOI report. A little LLP that owns a farm in North Dakota because the sister hates paperwork so it’s easier has to file a BOI report. A one-man carpentry business that makes basically just enough to pay the rent on the shop. (Okay, that’s a lie. It doesn’t even make that much. I just make him pay the rent even if something else goes unpaid, which mostly means he goes unpaid, because the accountant told me to.)

Again, setting up any of these entities isn’t a crime. Even setting up a shell company isn’t a crime. But we’re all supposed to register with a “crime fighting” agency anyway?

Fine, whatever.

What does this require?

“Once you’ve determined that your company should report, you should gather the information that is required to be reported.”

You know, with so many liberal arts majors floating around doing nothing, there is no excuse for boring writing.

Anyway, back to the task at hand.

Sounds easy, right? Oh, not so fast. If I were trying to cross the border outside a point of entry and ask for asylum and American public assistance, I’d have to provide less proof of who I was.

And if you make any changes to the above information, you need to update your report. So, for example, any “beneficial owner” moves, and you have to update the BOI within 30 days. And if you don’t?

Well, this is where things really get ridiculous (and a little frightening).

So if I don’t file this stupid little report—one I only know about because I got a letter from a lawyer—they’re going to jail me.

That seems—what’s the word?—overkill.

And let’s remember who this is.

Department of the Treasury.

You know, the department that houses the I-R-Freaking-S.

The paperwork for which has every bit of this information though returns and K-1s. All they have to do is look it up.

There better be a damn good reason for this.

Sounds like a good cause, right?

But there are exceptions to the rule:

Saw that one coming, did you?

Yes, because tax-exempt entities never engage in corruption (*cough* Clinton Foundation *cough*).

But the really laughable exemption?

So to get around this law, all you have to do is have a payroll showing twenty people, find a physical address to set up shop (George’s garage works just fine), and move more than $5 million through your books (I mean you can’t buy a politician these days for less than $6 mil, so that shouldn’t be a problem).

And you’re good to go.

Makes one think there might be some motive to all this that they’re not admitting in public, one that has more to do with micromanaging those who work legally outside the larger corporate system.

You know, a motive that they’re not being transparent about.

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Sorry, it’s kind of a light week. I’m reading more than I’m writing.

But what do you think this is about? (I have my theories, no doubt, but I’m interested in yours.)